And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize