I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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