I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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