This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
