just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
