im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
