I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
