Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
