Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
