remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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