no one should ever give us hovercrafts
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
No subtext here. People are naked.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
