And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
