Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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