Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
