i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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