i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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