Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
