I think I won the penis lottery.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
