Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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