I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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