i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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