Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
