There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
