I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
