i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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