then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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