i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
