Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
