She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
