Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
