thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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