How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
