If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
