At least make sure they are 18
Why
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
