i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
