She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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