my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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