Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
