overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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