Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Rumble strips road head = magical
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
