no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
