Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I wear drunk well.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
