the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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