sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
