Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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