i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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