We're facebook friends in real life
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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