can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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