So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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