allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
