This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
