I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
