The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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