farters have to be the big spoon...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
