so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize