youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
