very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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