you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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